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Signs Your Husband Wants Out - Tips For Women in Failing Marriages
This is the conflict style psychologists and Revive Her Drive Review counselors have traditionally taught to their clients. With this conflict style, couples talk, listen, compromise and calmly work out their problems to their mutual satisfaction. With this conflict style, couples rarely if ever confront a conflict head on. Instead, the marriage motto is agree to disagree. The couple acknowledges that they are different, strong willed, independent individuals, and that they will have different opinions on some issues. As long as the couple agrees on most things, the relationship can continue to grow.
Historically, many mental health professionals have considered Avoidant and Volatile conflict styles to be destructive to marriages. However Gottmans research suggests that all three styles are equally acceptable for maintaining or building a healthy marriage. Gottman has found that it doesn't really matter what conflict style a couple uses. What matters is that there are enough positive interactions in the marriage to counter the negative ones. It is believed that between 4-20 positive interactions are necessary to counter one negative interaction. However, arguments can sometimes lead to dirty fighting between husband and wife.
A dirty fight is one that alienates or hurts a spouse. When this happens, bitterness, anger, resentment, and even thoughts of divorce or violence can take root in a marriage. Often when spouses are fighting dirty they are doing so because of a profound heart problem. Patients with bad heart conditions need to change their unhealthy habits. Heart patients who have hardening of the arteries receive regular examinations. Like medical doctors, counselors can help those who need a heart examination.
There are ways to improve the quality of one's communication. Genuineness, empathy, and respect on the part of both the speaker and the listener are vital to improving communication between spouses. In addition to these principles, below are some additional techniques and suggestions: Consider the amount of time your counselees spend together as a couple. Studies have found that many couples spend an average of only four minutes a day in meaningful conversation.